Ghosts lurking Two years later

As I look over the posts from years past I can't help but think Im worthless. I know what needs to be done, I just don't have the motivation, the willpower. Since 2021, I have been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes because of this mindset. My A1C was at a 13 at one point, but with the help of medication its down to 5.7, almost within normal ranges. I've also rebounded back to almost 245 which was my lowest weight in years since the divorce.

I can thankfully say I've actually taken meaningful steps in regards to my health. Working at a medical lab, I took a paycut to have a job where I'm walking 4 miles average a night for 7 days. I just need to find the willpower to go to the gym for an hour on the other days. I know how that goes but it needs to be done. My arm strength has diminished significantly and I find it hard to throw a ball the way I used to.