Ghosts of the past part 2
This post says it all, except now I'll gladly call out my ex brother in law "Earl"...that should say it all right there. He's the one who thought people were jealous when he took off the weight for a whole two months.
How many times will I start a blog like this before I can change the way my mind works....I honestly don't know. I do know, however...what it takes to make myself healthy again. I know that it's calories in, calories out and consistency. It's sure not laziness. That's what it comes down to. People, society have leaned so much towards instant gratification that they seriously don't want to do the work. They hope that shakes, magic cleansing pills and one workout video a day will help them towards being the person they were in High School. Sorry, that won't happen. Period; unless you're a trust fund baby or a millionaire with nothing better to do....you're not going to look like that chick or the guy that is ripped in the 3 AM commercials for P90X. Period. Keep in mind that those videos are not filmed all in one shot. They do it many times throughout the day which is why they look that way.
99.9% of the time, the ugly truth is that the people with the before/after pics that are on these sites....have all used the supplements and diet aids that have come with the program. Notice you don't see any pics of these people 6-9 months down the road. Why? Because they stopped using the supplements and aids thinking they are healthy again, and have gained most of it back.
People that lose the weight, and joking or not that say things like "What's the matter? You're just jealous...." Um, no. because, without saying I told you so....well ....I don't need to. The people that have said that to me over the years gained most of it back. That's what I've noticed with people that don't stick to the new lifestyle. I've seen many people where I work who have gotten the surgery, gotten the lapband....and the week they are back....they are coming back with bags upon bags of junk food and thinking walking once a day on break will help them. - ADDITION in 2021....I can now say without hurting anyones feelings that this is exactly what Tom B. at eBay did...and died the Monday after he came back from surgery. Because he wouldn't listen.
I do have to say, however that I have seen my fair share of people where it's honestly a medical issue and have gotten the surgery or lapband and still have kept it off because they follow doctor's orders and losing weight for them is more of a health victory than it is for a social pat on the back, whether it be posting it all over facebook or while they ironically smoke with their friends on break.- ADDITION 2021 - Judith S was the person in this case and also at eBay....and died in her sleep. Woman smoked like a chimney and was always about the Vegan lifestyle.
Now, with that all being said, let's put me under the microscope because otherwise it simply wouldn't be fair. I know what my weakness is, and it is laziness. I have a trigger in my head that I haven't yet learned to turn off. I come up with excuse after excuse to not go to the gym and put in the extra work. I come up with the rationalization in my head to say "I'll be ok to start next week...on a Monday...that will be good." Then, time passes....way too quickly. It's passing by with greater speed each year and I need to stay healthy so that my final years are not only extended, but comfortable and not in a hospice or nursing home stuck to my bed.
I was in shape at one point, ,not an athlete but active more than most other adults. Working on an Ambulance kept me on my feet at least 90% of the time. I'm still in excellent cardio shape and my bloodwork is always within the normal ranges for cholesterol. However, I can easily see that even with being in decent cardio shape that my extra weight is starting to take it's toll on my body. My blood pressure is higher than I'd like it to be most of the time, and i'm seeing the telltale signs of diabetes lurking in the shadows with my skin starting to brown around my ankles and shins. - UPDATE 2021 - I do now have diabetes, thankfully caught it early to start getting it under control with meds.
The last time I was home I was around 320-330 lbs. I'm headed home in September, 101 days from today. I want my Mom to notice that I've worked hard. She came down on me pretty hard emotionally about my weight gain when I was there. I'm hovering at 303-304 at this point and I need to get to a better place. This time, the blog will not be shown to any one until the days are over. This is for me....not Facebook, not Google....me, and the women/girls in my life. I don't need the words of encouragement or pride of my parents/friends to do this.
Let's hope this is the last time I say....."I'll start tomorrow"
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